This is numero uno. The first of potentially many. The first of potentially few. This is the first official post and I want to kick it off with something that has been grinding my gears for the past few days. Instagram challenges, I’m calling you out.

It seems like whenever I hop on the old ‘gram there is a new challenge that has surfaced from the depths of god knows where. Some of the latest include see 10, do 10 or a new fan favorite: see a pup, send a pup. I get it. We’re all bored. But these challenges need to end. Brad, I don’t give a fuck that you can do 10 perfect push ups. We get it, your body is a temple. This is just an excuse to show off for some broad you’ve been trying to nail for the past few weeks and hey, what’s a better way of doing this than showing her that you are a physical beast. I hope you can do 10 push ups. We’d have a bigger problem if people couldn’t complete the challenge. And if you’re reading this and thinking “This is some guy who is insecure with his own fitness level” then you are extremely wrong. I might not be able to rip off a billion push ups, but I can definitely do 10. And that is why I think the challenge is stupid. Anyone can do it. Diminishing the whole point of a challenge.

Next let’s tackle see a pup, send a pup. This is a tricky challenge to bash because I don’t want to come off as a dog hater. I’m a dog lover. I love dogs and dogs love me. It’s a fact. Carole Baskin killed her husband and dogs love Paddy Philadelphia (yes, ik my alias sucks and needs work. I’m self-aware). My biggest beef with this challenge is people are doing it for the wrong reasons. Similar to see 10, do 10, this challenge is just an excuse for dudes to try to get laid. Most girls LOVE dogs. So what’s the best way to try and get into the pants of Becky from Alpha Phi? Posting a pic of little Snickerdoodle. Poor Snickerdoodle. Being used in the hopes of what? Getting an OTPHJ at your parents house?Pathetic.

So what do these two challenges have in common? If you answered both are silly attempts to get laid then congrats! You have pointed out the obvious. These challenges revolve around sex. In some way or another all challenges do. These were just a few examples. I could break down each and every one, but I have other things to do, like write more blogs to attract the attention of beautiful women (I told you I’m self-aware).