Not My Pastor

According to TMZ, pastor Rodney Howard-Browne from Tampa was arrested yesterday morning for illegally holding a Sunday service. Officials claim that he was violating social distancing rules. Full story here- https://www.tmz.com/2020/03/30/river-church-pastor-rodney-howard-browne-arrrest-warrant-coronavirus-social-distancing/

Where do I begin on this one? Do I start with the mugshot?

I mean does this look like a guy that would be busted for breaking social distancing rules? Maybe. Does this look like a guy who would be busted for a string of murders and hoarding the dead bodies underneath his porch? Yes. Or maybe for racketeering or some other mafia related crime? Absolutely. The fact that they only busted him for breaking social distancing rules is a miracle. I personally think this was a statement arrest. The Tampa police department wants it to be well known that they aren’t putting up with anyones shit right now. I love it. If you’re going to be the asshole who goes against social distancing then you deserved to get the cuffs slapped on ya.

Next let’s talk about the location. Not surprised this is in Florida. Florida is becoming known as the state that doesn’t give a fuck about corona. I mean can I really blame them? They have alligators and meth heads running a muck in their state. A pandemic is a like a typical Tuesday for a Florida native. This headline isn’t even that bad for them. They’re use to some headline about some white trash stepdad attacking a McDonald’s employee for not giving him enough napkins or something. I went down there a few years ago for spring break and saw a sign claiming they found a pill that could make you stop aging. Fuck, if they have a cure for aging then I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before they whip up some bootleg cure for the virus.

Lastly, everyone who participated in this is an idiot. I mean there’s no other way of saying it. I listened to like 30 secs of this guys spiel and I had no clue what he was talking about. The dude talks like Farmer Fran from The Waterboy. Something about oils? Who knows. Everyone is just nodding and holding their arms up in the air like a fucking moron. Everyone in attendance should been arrested too. Not for breaking social distancing laws but for buying into this dump cramp.

Twitter: @paddyp3000