With a nation-wide quarantine in place with no end in sight, many people are forced to keep themselves entertained. A form of entertainment that gets overlooked and, quite frankly, is considered taboo to talk about is pornography. When I thought things were looking dark and there seemed to be no hope, StayAtHomeHub (formerly known as Pornhub) dropped an absolute bomb on the general public. They assessed the situation and made a power move by announcing free premium for a month.
Now I’ll be clear: I WILL NOT PAY FOR PORN. Have not and will not. For two reasons, 1) I’m a college kid and why pay for something when you can get it for free and 2) my card statements get sent to my parents house and they check it every month. One could imagine the awkwardness when you have to explain to your parental unit that paying $9.99/month for exclusive content is a priority in your life. Unlike Perfect10 (Super Bad reference, if you don’t get it then stop reading), Pornhub isn’t a very discrete name. However, StayAtHomeHub offering FREE premium is something I can definitely get on board. A website chalked full of unexplored adult entertainment, given to a college kid who has nothing but time on his hands is a dangerous recipe. A recipe that calls for more tissues and more lotion. So Karen, you can take all the toilet paper and hand sanitizer you want. As long as the tissues and lotion are stocked up, I’m fine.
Now let’s talk about the exclusive content that comes with a premium membership. If you can think it, odds are it’s on the site. The other day I watched a film where the actress had double identities and she was fucking anyone who came close to realizing she lived a double life. She would then report back to an anonymous person. It was like some spy shit. Who was she calling? Why was she living a double life? How come I never run into someone who is living a double life and is willing to have sex with anyone who is even remotely close to discovering their secret? These are the questions I need answered. I demand a sequel.
So with all that being said, I would like to thank StayAtHomeHub. I know everyone is thanking first responders and essential workers for all they do, but people overlook the unsung heroes in all this. The porn industry has been a silent worker during these trying times and I would like to recognize their efforts and all the work they do.
If you like reading this and want to stay caught up with all my posts give me a follow on Twitter at @paddyp3000. If you are reading this and think “Wow this kid was a mistake” then I would love for you to meet my parents. You’d have a lot in common.
Average College Kid 